Mallory Trashed her Dress in a Color Run!

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Trash the Dress private online support group member Mallory trashed her wedding dress. She shares,” After my divorce I decided I would love to trash my dress. I ran the color run 5K when it came to my town and welcomed the corn starch paint as they threw it on me at each station. I stood out that day at that race, but most of all I felt not only proud but free!”

Love it!

 

Huffington Post Feature: 20-Somethings Lead Divorce Celebration Movement by Trashing the Dress

So excited to share this feature on some of our Trash the Dress girls and their amazing photo shoots on Huffington Post Divorce: Read “20-Somethings Lead Divorce Celebration Movement by Trashing the Dress

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Read an Excerpt of “Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s”

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Since My Divorce recently published an excerpt of my book. Read my guest blog post, “Are You Ready to Trash Your Dress?” (aka my “Trash Your Dress” chapter) to find out how young divorcees are trashing the dress and everything it represents! Creative photo shoot ideas are listed and participants share their experiences.

Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s is available on paperback through Amazon.com.

 

 

Kaiti’s Big, Sparkly 3-0 Divorce Photoshoot

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Trash the Dress private online divorce support group member Kaiti shares pictures from her 30th birthday photo shoot, saying “I love the idea of doing an empowering post-divorce photo shoot, but literally trashing my dress wasn’t quite right for me. I actually sold the dress to a super sweet young lady who looks beautiful in it, so I’m glad the dress can have another chance to fulfill its destiny!”

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“My 30th birthday had been looming, and I wanted to mark the occasion somehow. I teamed up with Kristin McMaster of The Memory Box photography, and we just played for the day! I had a great time cuddling with my puppy and playing dress up. I wanted to focus on positive energy and remind myself of what a great little life I have here in New Orleans, and this was the perfect way to do so!,” says Kaiti.

We agree! How adorable is her dog?! And let’s not get started on the awesomeness of that confetti picture. Everyone should steal the idea for that shot!

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When Diamonds Aren’t Forever…. Here’s Why Brittany Trashed Her Wedding Dress and You Should Too

Guest blog from Trash the Dress private online divorce support group member Brittany.

1002629_607747815942619_2071855550_nAs soon as I saw pictures of women trashing their wedding dresses, I knew that was something I wanted to do. After my divorce, I struggled to get closure, despite the fact that the divorce was my idea. I knew where he and I went wrong in our marriage. I knew what I could have done differently, as well as what he could have done differently, but there was still something that just didn’t feel right.

Shortly after getting married, I became a different person. So different that I didn’t even recognize myself. Within a year of our wedding, I gained 120 pounds. At one point during our marriage, I lost 80 pounds, but ended up gaining all of it back.

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Our divorce was finalized in August of 2012, and I began to focus on a whole new me. I lost 90 pounds. My entire attitude and outlook on life changed. But there was still something inside me that felt tied to the past. Something I struggled to let go of.

I realized that I had let my marriage and my ex shape who I was as a person. Somewhere in our eight years of marriage, I had lost myself. And I knew that part of getting closure would be figuring out who I was and finding myself again; finding the person I was prior to getting married. I had gotten so accustomed to being referred to as “them” or “his wife” or “Mrs.” that I just lost myself along the way.

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The first step was starting over with things we owned together. Despite the fact that he didn’t want to keep anything besides his clothes and a few random possessions, I knew that I didn’t want to keep any of it. To this day, over a year later, I still get confused looks when I say that I don’t want our china or our silverware. But for me, part of starting over and finding myself again involved putting as much of the past behind me as possible.

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The second step was doing something with my wedding dress. I had many friends tell me that I should donate the dress to a good cause. My family fought me when I told them what I wanted to do, but ultimately, I was the one who needed to take that step and get the closure I so desperately needed. In the end, they accepted that I was going to do what I wanted to do regardless of what they thought. I contacted a friend who is also a photographer and asked her if she would consider doing a “trash the dress” style shoot with me, and I got an extremely excited “Yes!”

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Prior to doing the shoot, I tried on my dress only to discover that it no longer fit. So instead of having me put it on, we came up with other ideas and ways to trash it. The feeling I got when pulling the dress out of the bag and dragging it through the mud and dirt and branches was so liberating. I was finally beginning to feel like I had the closure that I was looking for. After dragging it through the woods, we hung my dress up and I squirted it down with paint. And then used my fingers to spread the paint around. We then proceeded to set the dress on fire. Watching as the dress was slowly becoming unrecognizable was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

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The session as a whole was incredibly therapeutic and helped me get the closure for which I had longed. Had I listened to what others told me to do and sold the dress or given it away, I think I would still be struggling with closure.

I am to the point now where I can look back at the past and feel numb to it. Instead of feeling sad or angry at everything I went through, my marriage and divorce helped to make me the person I am today and helped put me where I am in life right now.

For any women out there who are struggling with their divorces, if you feel that trashing the dress is something that might help you to get closure, go for it, even if you get criticized for your decision.

1209248_607748742609193_1679412682_n(REMEMBER: BE SAFE WHEN PLAYING WITH FIRE! MAKE SURE YOU EXTINGUISH!)

No one else has been where you were.

No one else is standing where you are right now.

No one else can determine what it is going to take for you to be okay with your past and for things to not hurt anymore.

You are the only one who can decide that. So find whatever you think will bring you closure, and seek it out. You are worth it!

Trash the Dress Style Photo Shoot Inspiration

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Love the bold pop of red color here! This woman looks like she’s been through the ringer but is finally at peace. Stunning! Photography from Yvonnedenault.com.

Emily’s Trash the Dress Style Divorce Photo Shoot

Guest blog from Trash the Dress private online divorce support group member, Emily.

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When a friend introduced me to the Trash The Dress Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s, I didn’t realize the impact it would have on me personally.  Everyone who gets divorced talks about starting a new chapter. For me it’s not just a new chapter, it is about writing an entirely new book.

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The process of trashing the dress helped me obtain closure on that last chapter of the last book.  And my ex-husband said I’d only wear the dress once! Ha! I was inspired by the other women who decided to destroy their dresses and decided to do the same.

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There are two songs by Rascal Flatts that actually helped inspire a lot of the shoot- the first being “Changed,” which speaks of coming up out of the water, a baptism of sorts. The second “I’m Moving On,” with the lyrics “I’ve dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regretted.”

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The photographer who shot my wedding, Dana at Happily Ever After Photography, put it perfectly in her description of our session- “Sometimes ‘Happily Ever After’ means moving on!”  She was very instrumental in our shoot as she would remind me to either think about my past and help me remember some of the passion, the anger, the hurt, or to think about looking out into my future and seeing what good things are to come.

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Through the healing process I’ve learned that I have a love for reading and have been picking up different books as recommended. One is The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beatty, which has a particular passage referring to being yourself. This was a new concept for me as I had just molded myself to what was expected out of me, from my husband, peers, friends, family and even co-workers. Learning to be myself, I’ve discovered I’m pretty damn awesome! (I’ve had some help learning that one along the way.)

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My trash the dress session was incredibly therapeutic. I recommend doing the things you need to do to obtain closure, not to care what people think of your actions because in the end, you are the only person who walked in your shoes and you are the only person who can really understand where you were then and where you are going now.

1069800_10151593199218402_319568923_nPLEASE USE CAUTION WHEN DOING TRASH THE DRESS STYLE PHOTO SHOOTS IN WATER! AVOID DEEP, ROUGH WATERS. REMEMBER, WET DRESSES WEIGH YOU DOWN AND MAY CAUSE DROWNING.

 

 

When Trashing The Dress Goes Too Far

Picture 5Good Morning America reported on the trash the dress photo shoot trend.  Watch the segment, Wedding Photo Trend: Would You Set Your Dress on Fire?

I’ve said this before and I will say it again: Trash the dress style photo shoots are a great outlet for celebrating new beginnings when done SAFELY.  I strongly encourage every divorcee to take part in a trash the dress/divorce photo shoot, even if you aren’t wearing the dress. It’s fun and a pathway to moving forward.

But don’t do them in large bodies of water- you’ll get dragged down in your heavy, wet dress. Don’t set  YOURSELF on fire. Starting your post-divorce life in the burn unit at the hospital is not worth it!  Fire and water have been done. They’re boring now. Be creative and find a way to personalize the shoot to your life or former situation, but be safe!

‘Til Death Do We Part… Or I Eat Your Brains Out

It turns out, Tara Richter (author, certified dating coach and radio show host), who recently provided online dating tips for Trash the Dress, is a divorcee!   And she trashed her wedding dress after discovering her husband cheated. 

Here’s her guest blog:

I had my wedding dress hanging in my closet for a while after the divorce and didn’t know what to do with it. I tried selling it, listed it online and researched consignment shops. They would only give me $40 for it which is completely absurd. I don’t have any children to hand it down to, so I figured I would get creative instead! I discovered a local zombie pub crawl last October and asked my girlfriends if they wanted to join in on the fun. There was a group theme contest so we decided to go as a zombie bridal party! I figured this would be a way more fun way to utilize my dress one more time.

It took me about 20 hours to completely transform my dress into a zombie bride. First I cut all the tulle out from under the dress. I also cut the entire second layer of material from under the train. That lightened up the dress a lot! Definitely don’t want to walk around as a zombie all night wearing a 50lb dress.  I used the tulle I cut out to make it into a veil.

I bought a cheap tiara and sewed the tulle around the top of the tiara to attach it. I got ping pong eyeballs from the Halloween store and super glued them around the bottom of the veil. It took a while to figure out how to attach them. I discovered they are two halves glued together.  So I broke them apart, put one side inside the tulle and the eyeball side on the outer portion of the tulle and layered the edges with super glue then pressed them together. It really turned out pretty cool so it looks like the eyes are really in the veil. I also smeared some blood on it. Make sure if you’re using blood to get the big jugs of it that will dry. The first time I used the small blood capsules and that stuff is so sticky, four days later it was still wet. I had to wipe it off with a paper towel so it wouldn’t get blood where it wasn’t supposed to be.

To lighten up the dress even more I cut out more material at a jagged edge for the zombie effect. I also cut a jagged slit up the left leg to allow easier walking around. I altered the bottom since I wanted to walk in comfy sketcher wedge flip flops and the length would have been too long. Cutting jagged edges all around the bottom and then covered those flaps in blood. (After the fact I realized I should have added more blood. It seemed like a lot when I was doing it, yet half of it soaked into the material & didn’t turn out as bright red as I wanted it to.)

Since I did not have a “human groom” to dress up and go out along with me, I decided instead to make my own zombie groom. I wanted it to look like I turned into a zombie first and then ate half my groom and the rest of him starting crawling up the train of my dress. I bought a zombie head and found a nice white Liz Claiborne shirt at goodwill for $5. I cut the edges of the shirt and covered it in blood as well. Once the blood dried I stuffed the shirt with the left over tulle from my wedding dress.  This concept worked great because the tool made the shirt poof out like there was a body in it, yet it was super light. I sewed the tulle inside the shirt so it wouldn’t fall out and then attached the shirt to the train of my dress.

The left arm I chopped off like it had been eaten and the right arm I sewed coming up my right side. I put a bloody hand print (my hand dipped in blood then dragged it down the side of the dress where I was going to put the zombie groom.) I bought a plastic hand from the store with a bloody stump and used Gorilla Glue to attach it to the dress. It worked fantastic! The zombie head was harder to get to stay on. The head was made out of foam which was light, yet the glue would just pull off the first layer of foam and the head rolled off the back. It was too thick to use a needle to go all the way through the skull to sew it, so instead I just sewed the ear to the dress. That worked well, but then he was looking down. I put some holes in the head and then filled them with Gorilla Glue and put glue on the dress to stick it and that seemed to do the trick. (Gorilla Glue works by expanding into the porous parts and then holding them together.)

For the accessories to the outfit, I discovered this awesome zombie leg purse. It was a hit with everyone and I could carry lots of stuff inside of it. I also purchased the white zombie contacts. They’re a little pricey, but if you shop around you can find them for $30 shipped. Make sure when you’re purchasing that two come in a pack. Some websites sell them one contact each. The contacts really pull the entire outfit together. Everyone was stopping to take photos. My girlfriends bought matching dresses at Ross for $9 each and black rose bouquets for $10 each. Only two groomsmen were left alive and I found great bloody boutonnieres at Hot Topic.

The 20 hours of labor I put into this costume was well worth it. The dress was a huge hit at the zombie pub crawl every kept asking me if it was my real wedding dress. I even got a spot light on TV for a few seconds. After the pub crawl I had the entire costume in an art show. It was fun to see it on display. It was hard at first to destroy my wedding dress, but once I starting cutting it felt great!  I recommend being creative to anyone who doesn’t know what to do with these left over expensive dresses.

Tara Richter

Author, Certified Dating Coach & Radio Show Host

www.datingjunglebook.com

Trash the Dress Divorce Style Photo Shoot: Redneck Resort

Nothing says good riddance to misery like getting down and dirty- really, really, really dirty. Like, in pool of mud. And riding a dirt bike.  While wearing your wedding dress, which by the end of the day will have been torn apart.

Trash the Dress private online divorce support group member Tammy from Tennessee recently took a “Destination Divorce” getaway to Redneck Resort Mud Park for a trash the dress style photo shoot.

“I was put through a lot,” tells Tammy.  “My husband got addicted to drugs, stole just about everything I owned and has been mentally abusive.”

She says the shoot, during which she was accompanied by her cousin and friends, was “my way of celebrating my freedom and showing that I’m strong.”

The best part? Tammy gets to tell the world! The Discovery Channel just so happened to be filming Redneck Summer and caught her in action. Stay tuned to watch Tammy’s interview this August.

By the looks of the photos, Tammy had more fun destroying her wedding dress than most brides do while wearing it on their wedding day.

Her advice for those currently ending their marriage?

“If anyone can learn anything from my story, it’s to know who you are and what you deserve. If it wasn’t for my faith in Jesus, I would not be where I am today. I finally realized what I deserved and it’s a whole lot more than him.”

We agree!

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And on a final note that has nothing to do with divorce but everything to do with rednecks, I leave you with Blake Shelton’s music video for Boys ‘Round Here because I am obsessed.