We’re finally on instagram!

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Follow @trashthedressbook on instagram for daily updates!

We’ll be posting excerpts from the book, inspiring quotes, spotlights on all the amazing twenty-something divorcees in our Faces of Young Divorce series and more.

See you there!

 

Divorceism

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Divorce Humor

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Sneak Preview: Book Cover!

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This website is on a bit of a hiatus now while I am on maternity leave with my new baby. But don’t worry, I’m also hard at work getting the final edits of the manuscript made so I can send this book to print!

I just approved the final design of the book cover and am so excited to share this little preview with you!  Here’s a snippit of the book cover. Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s will be available in paperback and for Kindle on Amazon.com.  Stay tuned for more an official release date!

Our private Facebook support group is going strong, so be sure to join!

 

 

She’s here!

Meet my baby girl, Genevieve Sara.  Born on September 7, 2014 | 8 pounds, 5 ounces, 21.5 inches.

We are in love!

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Book Update: Layout!

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I’ve been busy preparing the book (Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s) for printing. I think I’ve edited the manuscript so many times that I can recite it word for word, page by page. I’m so excited to say that last night I officially uploaded my final draft to the printer to begin layout! Whoo!! One step closer to publishing the book! It will be available in print and for Kindle on Amazon.com. Stay tuned for updates!

Opps!

I’m using my iPad to approve new member requests for our private Facebook group and accidentally deleted a request when trying to click on a profile to make sure it was legit . Please send again if it was you. I have learned my lesson. So sorry! Come back!

Book update!

Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know I haven’t been MIA. I’ve been working on the final edits of my manuscript so I can get this book in your hands! Whoo! So please forgive me if I happen to miss a day updating the blog :)

 

Bad Romance: Battling Addicted to a Toxic Person

We’ve all heard of AA and NA for people who suffer from substance abuse and addictions and the many programs and services available to our society. What we do not hear enough about however, is what’s available for those who suffer an addiction to another person. Like substances, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in someone else’s world we forget to be our own person. Sometimes that forms unhealthy relationships and habits, like the use of drugs and alcohol, while other times it can damage the relationships we already had with friends and family members. It can become dangerous when two people are addicted to each other but all it takes is one person to begin an ugly and unhealthy cycle.

While it may expose it’s ugliness in many ways I am reflecting on one particular couple whose addictive relationship recently exploded. I was a thousand miles away when I got the call from a relative who began to explain the events that unfolded and lead to the relationship ending. From the outside it’s always easy to spot the faults with a relationship but it takes something drastic to make those in the relationship to see it. Relationships are hard enough these days without throwing in addictions, but when both people have substance abuse addictions it compounds the problem. There unfortunately is not 12-step program designed to help someone detox from a toxic partner.

I’ve watched other’s go through recovery from AA and had a small gulps of the steps of the key to success. I believe you must know yourself and your triggers. Typically these are people, places and things. Can these same things be applied when the addiction is to a person rather than a substance? In some ways I think it is possible to apply these same rules.

The 12-steps to AA can easily be applied to real life in the following ways.

Rule #1: Admitting the addiction and problem. Sometimes it’s an event that forces the hands that can be the first step to realizing there is a problem. A person who believes he or she does not have an addiction of any type will not be ready to begin the healing.

Step #2 and 3: Focusing on the hope and faith. By focusing on the great powers that be and restoring hope and faith it serves as a base for things only getting better and better.

Step #4: Personal inventory. This means checking in with yourself or helping someone to do so helps to create a base for healthy relationships and self-love. This will allow for reflections of past and present situations in order to go forward with resolutions.

Step #5: Confessions to ourselves is a huge step but admitting to other’s will only enhance the growth and empowerment.

Step #6 & #7: Because AA is a spiritual organization they focus on faith-based healing like prayer and meditation.

Most of the remaining steps are repeats of steps #1 through #8. Most of the NA and AA steps to recovery can be applied to addictions of other types. Being addicted to a person can be harder because you feed off of each other. The potential for danger is emphasized by the addiction because if one or both people associate the other with a good feeling.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away when you are dependent on someone else. My suggestion is to figure out your triggers–typically people, places and things that enable a person to descend further into an addiction. Once you figure these out it may be clearer to see a path to break the spell. Sometimes the rose colored glasses fog our vision so well we lose ourselves. It can blur the lines between where the other person ends and we begin so that we take on the other person’s characteristics and habits. This can be a codependency issue which should also be addressed with a professional. Codependency can effect anyone but not something to take lightly.

I have always been of the opinion that addiction is not a conscious choice but rather is something genetically passed down from generation to generation. There are obvious things that raise the risk of having an addiction such as if a parent in the home has a substance abuse problem much like the statistics that support the findings that children repeat what they live with.

Becoming an addict or having an addiction to someone is not hard to fall into. Getting out of the addiction is that hard part. It may take twelve steps or it may take something from within to break the spell. The best medicine for any illness is time and maybe some TLC from friends and family. IMG_1631

Trash the Dress: THE BOOK! (Update)

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It’s official! I’m self-publishing my book, Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s.

I am so happy to be back in control of my destiny and can’t wait to FINALLY make this available.  When you want something done right, sometimes you just have to do it yourself. I’ve always been a self-starter so it’s only natural that I oversee this project.

Sure, I can beat myself up about wasting years with the wrong professional partner, but that won’t get me anywhere. Just like my marriage, I’ve lived, learned and am eager to move on.

Trash the Dress will be available in paperback and for Kindle soon. Stay tuned!