Met future ex-husband: 18
Bling, bling, got the ring: 22
Got Hitched: 23
Current age: 26
The best thing about being divorced in my twenties is: I can finally figure out who the heck I am! When you immerse yourself in a co-dependent relationship with your high school sweetheart you loose all sense of self. Also, I’m living on my own for the first time ever. Although it was horrifying at first, I am now in my groove and can eat and watch what I want when I want. It’s small, but liberating.
I celebrated my divorce by: I bought a painting my ex-husband always thought was ugly and didn’t want hung in the house. It’s a recreation of “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt. (I’m still a romantic at heart.) I marched myself down to the local art and framing gallery and bought that sucker with a smile on my face. I even used a level and figured out how to hang it myself!
My divorce anthem is: “Untouchable Face” by Ani DiFranco…”So f*ck you and your untouchable face and f*ck you for existing in the first place…”
Advice for others just starting the divorce process: Be kind to yourself. I say again, be so damn kind to yourself. Someone showed me some fancy hierarchy of stressful events in one’s life. Divorce and death were right at the top. Not only are your dealing with grief, loss, hurt, sadness, anger, but a whole grocery list of financial and legal issues you didn’t even know existed. If some days get too much, then say that, accept it for what it is, and do something for yourself. Pamper yourself, add that whip on your latte, or heck, have a Netflix binge that you never want to admit having (8 hours of Orange is the New Black, yes please!).
If I could trash my wedding dress in any way, it would be: Some sort of zombie apocalypse themed shindig. The more green goo and brains the better!
Anything you want to add? Ask for help when you need it and don’t be ashamed your are 20 and divorced. I was falling apart at the seams and didn’t know what to do or where to go. I reached out to family and friends and learned who my true support system is. And, don’t be ashamed for what happened. I know the whispers and stares at holiday gatherings and back yard BBQs. I know the thoughts, I’m damaged goods. People will think I didn’t try, that I didn’t care about my vows. People will want their Target gift cards and toasters back. Most of the time people don’t think that, but if they do screw ‘em! What happened happened and you still are an amazing, beautiful, smart, and meaningful person.