Where Are They Now? | Robin’s Story

In my book, “Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s,” young divorcees speak out about why they got married and divorced and how they celebrated their new beginnings. In our new “Where Are They Now?” column of this website, catch up with twenty-something divorcees as they share details of their fabulous post-divorce lives years later. First up, meet Robin and her adorable daughter.

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How old were you when you divorced?

Separated shortly after my 22nd birthday and official right before my 23rd birthday.

How old are you now?

I am 24 years old.

Do you feel like you truly moved on from your divorce?  If so, how long did it take you and what factors contributed?

I am truly moved on. My marriage had been over for a while before the final straw broke. I came back home around friends and family and had my daughter to help motivate me to get my life back in order.

Is there anything you learned along the way that you wish you knew back then?

Having a child doesn’t mean your marriage is going to last.

Have you accomplished any particular goals since your divorce?

I accomplished getting back into school, being able to live, work, and provide for my daughter alone.

 How did you manage financial struggles (if any)?

At first, I worked as a server making $4.50 an hr plus tips. It was hard to pay rent and make ends meet. I had to limit my bills to make sure my daughter had everything she needed, even if it meant no cable, no Internet, no fun things for me.

Did you divorce through a lawyer or did you DIY divorce (and if so, how?)

No lawyers were involved. My ex-husband and I sat down and discussed everything that would happen.  Went and paid for the packets .We sat down and talked it out.  There was yelling at times but I got it filled out. He at one point filed to take my daughter away from me so I had to pay again to respond to it and put that we get equal time with her. It is hard but neither of us had money for lawyers. The process took about a year from first file date to being finalized.

Are you living in your own place?

I am living in my own house.

Are you single or in a relationship?

Currently in a wonderful relationship.

How did you conquer post-divorce dating fears?

I just set all fears aside and got out there. Kept my independent nature forward to show people I was not after someone to save me, I was after someone to share my life with.

Advice for new divorcees?

Life may seem like it can’t get better. It may seem that for a while. It does get better. If you have children, just remember this new life your starting involves them. Keep them in the front of your brain and just keep living.

How are you celebrating post-divorce life?

Living a life I never had while married. Having fun, smiling, and enjoying not having someone constantly tear me down.

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