Kelsie Eloped! And It Was Adorable.

Trash the Dress private online support group member Kelsie recently eloped. The ceremony at Joshua Tree was officiated by her mom and Kelsie’s son walked her down the aisle. Get your Pinterest button ready because this wedding is one to inspire you the next time you say “I do.”

Besides the obvious reasons to love these photos, I think this is a great example of how to have a beautiful, affordable second wedding. A lot of second-time brides feel that by eloping you are sacrificing the whole wedding day experience. But that clearly didn’t happen here.  Destination eloping with immediate family members is a perfect options for those who still want to wear a gown and get glam, except you don’t have to worry about venues, seating, favors and that whole mess. Eloping is truly about the couple and what they want, as opposed to big budget weddings that typically cater to the guests.

Congrats to Kelsie and her happily ever after!

Photography by Samantha Smith Arroyo.

10888364_1002240143123547_8777316809818661014_n

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.21.12 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.21.15 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.21.47 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.28.27 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.28.12 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.27.51 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.27.43 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.22.19 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.27.35 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.21.35 PM

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 12.27.55 PM

Whoo! Lyndsay Found her Happily Ever After Divorce! She Just Got Remarried!

1385167_10153423572615285_1050687109_n

I love wedding pictures in general, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing Trash the Dress private online divorce support group members as brides again. I’m especially excited to see Lyndsay (above, with her new hubby, Peter) remarry because I feel like I’ve been on her journey from the start. Lyndsay was one of the first girls to reach out to me when I first started this project and was seeking women to interview for my book, Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s, a few years ago. She had just started going through the divorce process and agreed to keep a diary for publication, which I can’t wait for you all to read. I was so excited when Lyndsay found a new man and of course over the moon for her when Peter popped the question. This weekend they made things official and I think their smiles say it all. Lyndsay is a beaming bride and a great inspiration for all young women currently going through divorce in their 20s. She’s proof that you can have a happily ever after divorce and live your fairy tale life!

Marriage After Divorce in your 20s: Second Time Bride Problems

joelle

Striking a pose on my wedding night. No idea divorce in my twenties was in sight.

It hasn’t been easy for me being a wedding obsessed divorcée. I’m passionate about every little detail. The cake. The dress. The favors. Bridesmaid attire. I’ll even judge a bride and groom based on the table seating. Numbers instead of creative names equals major creativity points lost.

I put my heart and soul into planning my first wedding (which you will read about in my book, Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s) and have nothing to show for it, which is utterly disappointing. It’s not like you can whip out pictures of you and your ex-husband and swap stories with your newly engaged girlfriends/ co-workers, etc. when you’re divorced.  And you especially can’t do it when you attend weddings with your post-divorce boyfriend.  There were so many times my current fiancé, Frank, and I attended the weddings of friends and family and he raved that the cocktail hour was amazing and I wanted to say that nothing compared to the smorgasboard of food at my first wedding, which he would have loved. I just had to bite my lip and agree.

I’m getting remarried in a few weeks (omg!) and had to endure a whole new set of challenges along the way. Some second-time brides choose to go the simple knot-tying route by eloping or having a quickie courthouse ceremony. I’m clearly not one of those divorcee-turned-bride-again women. Call me superficial, but I refuse to rob myself of the wedding experience just because I happen to have divorced in my twenties and my fiancé and I are planning our Big Day on small budget. I deserve to wear a beautiful white dress and hire a top-notch beauty squad to glam me up and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I want pictures that I can actually hang up for more than a year and darn it, they are going to be the most stunning photos my efforts can achieve!

But how do you plan your dream wedding when you already had it- to the wrong man? It’s quite a task!  I have a very specific vintage-inspired style that did not change along with my last name. I still love cupcakes and want to feature photos of my dogs as the table names, but been there, done that. On my first wedding day, I almost cried when I saw how amazing Alexa Prisco/ The Glam Fairy did my makeup. But I have it in my head that if I do my makeup for my upcoming wedding the same way, it’s a jinx.

Since Frank and I just bought a house, the wedding naturally fell into the background these past few months. I didn’t realize until last week that I had no idea how I should do my makeup this time. I put it in my head that I should do a whole new natural look with clean eyes, winged liner and a bright lip – one that I like on some other brides but that is really not me. I pinned a million pictures of this look that I was trying to make the new me. Frantically, I booked a trial with Alexa. A few days later, I canceled it.

I need to represent the bride I am today. I’m stronger, smarter and doing it for the right reasons this time. I’m not betting on chance that things will change after the wedding. I know all that’s waiting ahead- the future I want is waiting for me to catch up with it. But I’m also a little bit of the girl I was before and that is perfectly fine. I decided that I can’t change everything about myself just because I am determined to have a completely fresh wedding experience.

I’m as glamorous as ever, so I will be moving forward with the ultra smokey eyes as I did for my first wedding. I’m even going to present Alexa with the same exact magazine photo I brought her last time to replicate. And I’ve decided that it’s OK. Because who is really going to remember such a tiny detail from like six years ago, besides other wedding obsessed people like myself?

If I’ve learned anything from my divorce it’s that there’s a greater plan out there for us then we know. They say, “life happens when you’re busy making other plans” and it’s true. I’m letting go of fears that something I do planning the wedding might impact my new marriage and I’m going to enjoy the process of being a bride again. I am going to have my cake and eat it, too-one year later from my freezer with my husband.