I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day, so I can’t really say that I’m anxious about my first as a divorcee. Honestly, can it really be worse than last year? I was married, it was my first Valentine’s Day, and I spent it alone, in bed by 9:00 pm. My husband could have cared less; then again that was the theme of our marriage. We’d just returned from Vegas, my birthday gift to him for his 30th. An all-expenses paid trip to Vegas for the man that loved to gamble. That’s how much I loved him. He wanted to gamble, I brought him to biggest casinos on earth. I would have done anything for him, but he wouldn’t do a damn thing for me. I thought it was the greatest gift ever, but he didn’t. He literally cried and told me I ruined his birthday; he wanted to be there with his friends, not me. Still, I decided to give it one last shot, and it really was my last shot.
But, Valentine’s Day was no different, just another day that I loved him and desperately hoped he’d love me back. Like the gift I gave him, he tossed me aside. This year, I’ve decided to express my love for my husband in this little poem I’d like to share with all of you. The point of my story is this – when you start to feel sad or dread an important day, be it an anniversary, a holiday, or just a normal Wednesday, remember where you were and how far you’ve come. And instead of wasting your love on people that could care less, give it to someone that gives a damn. That’s what I plan to do. Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies!
L is for all the LIES I’ll never have to hear again.
O is for the OVERWHELMINGLY stupid things you do finally biting you in the ass.
V is for my last name, which I’m taking back, along with the rest of the life you took away.
E is for the EMBARASSMENT you won’t be causing me anymore.
Here’s to hoping you get hit by a flaming arrow this year honey
Your soon-to-be EX-wife
I always considered Valentine’s Day a sappy Hallmark holiday for insecure women to brag about how much their poor significant other spent on flowers, jewels and chocolate. Because really, love should be celebrated every day of a relationship and showering of material items doesn’t equal love. Don’t get me wrong, I love flowers and chocolate, but I don’t like that there is a designated holiday to force people to show their love and compete with others. I actually even forbid my fiance to buy me chocolate on Valentine’s Day because I know all the candy goes on clearance the next day. Why spend $12 on a box you can get for $2 the next day? Some may call that cheap, however I consider myself savvy and secure in my relationship. But, I digress.
Leave it to the corporate giants of the world to turn February 14th into a day on which single women want to burry themselves under their comforters and hide in bed until the clock strikes midnight. Valentine’s Day might just be the hardest 24 hours to get through for twenty-something divorced women. Some must confront memories of their ex-husbands, others must endure watching their newly engaged friends create a traffic jam on their social networking sites. So what’s a divorcée to do?
Here’s how members of the Trash the Dress private online support group are spending Valentine’s Day:
- “Single ladies night out!!”
- “I’m planning on spending Valentine’s Day with my daughter. It’s a day for celebrating love and she is my love. I want to celebrate with her and make her feel special.”
- “It’ll have been my four year wedding anniversary, so my new amazing boyfriend and I are going out and doing it how it should be done!”
- “At this moment, no plans. Really okay with it, though. I’m gonna treat it like any other day and not give it power over me for good or bad. Although there is that cute frenchman I’ve been seeing…”
- “I have a ton of things going on immediately before and after, so I’m probably going to order-in and cuddle with my cats. They’re total cuddle sluts. I’ve never been big on Valentine’s Day, anyway, so this won’t be a huge departure. I might send myself flowers, though.”
- “I got an e-mail today from my new love (who just moved in with me, actually) that read: ‘Not that you would, but don’t make plans for next Thursday night. I got it handled.'”
- “Spending it with my new love! I may have been married for 3.5 years but this will be my first Valentine’s Day actually having a date! My new love has made the plans all on his own.”
- “I’m working during the day and have class at night so I’ll hopefully too busy to even think about it!”
- “I’ll most likely be working. I had lunch at work with my dad last year. My son will be with his father that night so I’ll probably order Chinese and have a glass or two of wine. I’ve never been big on Valentine’s Day.”
- “Hopefully not sulking and fighting, as it’s my engagement anniversary then… so only life knows my mood or what I will do. I will possibly spend it at the ocean.”
- “I’m sorry, but Valentine’s Day is such a commercial holiday. Whatever happened to showering your spouse or significant other with love the other 364 days of the year? I will most likely spend it with my girlfriends”
- ” I like the idea of doing it Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec: ‘Gal-entine’s Day’ and celebrating your gal pals.”
- “Uteruses before duderuses!!”
- “The day before I am going tattoo shopping. On V-Day my friend who just left his wife and I are taking our sons to a kid dinner!”
- “My sister always throws a party for Valentine’s Day and I help cater. Instead of people bringing items to the party she asks people to bring a donation to charity. This year is Sandy relief and the food is shore-theamed.”
- “I really want to be able to say I don’t care about V-Day, but I can’t lie, I’m dreading it. For me, the sadness isn’t about not going on some romantic date or not getting flowers, but it’s more about the reminder that I don’t have anyone in my life to share things with. But I really like some of these suggestions and think I may do something to make the day go by a little easier… I’m now seriously considering sending myself a cookie bouquet.”
- “I am going to spend my day with the best thing in my life, my daughter. Last night we were watching TV and a Kay Jewelers commercial came on and she said, ‘Aw, momma, I will buy you that diamond so you can have something pretty for Balentine’s day.’ Yes, ‘Balentines’ not Valentine’s. She is my perfect valentine!”